I won't give up.

I looked at the calendar on my laptop today and read that it was August 18th. August. 18th. I'm not sure how that's possible considering that I just got out of school and that I should still be anticipating LeakyCon. However, the calendar's correct. Outside it is a crisp 68 degrees and that makes me very excited. Even though I will miss this summer dearly, I can't even describe how excited I am to get going on my senior year. To take pretty notes, to talk to those random people at school who aren't necessarily your best friends but that you still like, to read as many books as I can, and to actually look semi-nice when I walk out the door rather than not caring what I look like. I keep telling myself that I'm going to try my hardest for school this year. Like, actually focus and try to get the best grades I can get and really understand things. I'm pretty sure I'll end up giving up on all that, but I'm going to try my hardest. And now that I have so many things (things I never thought I'd have until college or later), I think I can focus on the things I want so desperately: Taylor Swift concert tickets, getting into Belmont, a graduation open house, and the National Youth Gathering next summer. I don't expect to magically change over the course of a few weeks, but I hope that I'll finally grow up enough to convince myself that I do need to work out consistently, and eat better, and actually do my school work rather than scraping by. And I know a lot of people have that anti-homework stage their senior year, but I think I honestly had the worst my junior year. Now I've tasted that and it's seriously the worst thing in the world. It makes school seem boring, and I spent way too much time complaining. I mean, if I just learn it the first time and get myself hyped up on homework, maybe I'll actually do well. Last semester I got an A on my Physics final. I didn't even think that was possible when I started the class last year. And in Pre-Cal I figured out the material well enough by the last nine weeks that I got an A. These are little things, but ever since elementary school I viewed science and math as my weaknesses in school. And, yes, right now I have to work a little harder in those subjects than in English, but if you'd told me back then that I would be going into the Track 1 Calculus class senior year or Physics II with a slight interest in the subject, I would say you were lying. I'm not the nerd. I mean, I'm a dorky nerd who gets excited about Taylor Swift or Harry Potter, but not actual nerd stuff. So, I guess my point is, if I've made it this far, who the hell's gonna stop me? It most certainly isn't going to be me.

If you saw one of my previous posts, you'd see that I'm planning on tightening my schedule by planning things and actually following through. I promise myself right now that I will workout. I will get better grades. And I won't give up.