I'm slowly coming back. I don't know if I'll be fully comfortable with the rest of my summer, but I think I've finally gotten to a point where I can just breathe and ignore what's coming. It's difficult, but nothing I can't handle.
When I started off this summer, and this year actually, I kept thinking it was going to be that magical year where I go to the beach a million times and go places with my friends and read Harry Potter into the early hours of the morning and take a bunch of pictures. Some of those things have happened, but there's a thin layer of sadness over everything. This is my last summer before I know what I'm kinda doing with my life. The last summer before I have to buy things for a dorm room and meet new people and pay for an expensive education. It is exciting, until you realize that expensive actually means thousands of dollars. Not even hundreds. And then add in the fact that I kinda wish I was in school now to talk to people and get my new locker (and talk to Molly all day long) and get my schedule and start preparing for graduation (early, I know, but I have too many pictures and friends, and not enough time). I haven't reached the point where I'm sick of summer and ready for fall, but it's creeping up on me. It's also hard to believe that with about 30 more hours of practice, I can take my driving test. That's just insane! And, if you don't know, I do not like the idea of driving. Personally, I can do it, and I think I'll enjoy driving alone much more than with my parents, but I'm not going to do it too much for myself. Just my brother. And my mom. And my grandma. And occasionally my dad. And then the two or three times I go to a friend's house or a study session or something. Other than that, I will be taking the bus and partying with my big headphones and iPod. (Speaking of which, my headphones are not here yet, but they should be arriving this week.) And my brother can just suck it up because I do not want to go through the high school traffic.
Guys. I'm a senior. I know I've been talking about that this whole time, but it still just hits me like a ton of bricks. I still feel like I could be a freshman or something. I can't be a senior!! That's not possible!
I know this isn't what I normally post (oh one follower), but sometimes I just need to talk and rant and tell the internet about how I'm not ready to grow up. Thankfully I've moved past the crying and fear that has gripped me the past few days, but I'm still on the edge. I need to find a job because I am running low on money and my parents took away my allowance and I just don't know how it's going to work. But I will push through. By the way, this quote was from a reading today in church and I really felt like it reflected my life at the moment. Enjoy.
"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10
When I started off this summer, and this year actually, I kept thinking it was going to be that magical year where I go to the beach a million times and go places with my friends and read Harry Potter into the early hours of the morning and take a bunch of pictures. Some of those things have happened, but there's a thin layer of sadness over everything. This is my last summer before I know what I'm kinda doing with my life. The last summer before I have to buy things for a dorm room and meet new people and pay for an expensive education. It is exciting, until you realize that expensive actually means thousands of dollars. Not even hundreds. And then add in the fact that I kinda wish I was in school now to talk to people and get my new locker (and talk to Molly all day long) and get my schedule and start preparing for graduation (early, I know, but I have too many pictures and friends, and not enough time). I haven't reached the point where I'm sick of summer and ready for fall, but it's creeping up on me. It's also hard to believe that with about 30 more hours of practice, I can take my driving test. That's just insane! And, if you don't know, I do not like the idea of driving. Personally, I can do it, and I think I'll enjoy driving alone much more than with my parents, but I'm not going to do it too much for myself. Just my brother. And my mom. And my grandma. And occasionally my dad. And then the two or three times I go to a friend's house or a study session or something. Other than that, I will be taking the bus and partying with my big headphones and iPod. (Speaking of which, my headphones are not here yet, but they should be arriving this week.) And my brother can just suck it up because I do not want to go through the high school traffic. Guys. I'm a senior. I know I've been talking about that this whole time, but it still just hits me like a ton of bricks. I still feel like I could be a freshman or something. I can't be a senior!! That's not possible!
I know this isn't what I normally post (oh one follower), but sometimes I just need to talk and rant and tell the internet about how I'm not ready to grow up. Thankfully I've moved past the crying and fear that has gripped me the past few days, but I'm still on the edge. I need to find a job because I am running low on money and my parents took away my allowance and I just don't know how it's going to work. But I will push through. By the way, this quote was from a reading today in church and I really felt like it reflected my life at the moment. Enjoy.
"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10
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