Going into 2018, I had a lot of dreams and goals. If you'll recall, 2017 was an absolutely disaster in some ways. I wrecked my car, lost two incredible relatives, and graduated college. I also dealt with a lot more depressive episodes than usual. Post-grad really threw me for a loop, and I felt totally lost and out of control at the end of last year. So, when I entered this new season of my life twelve months ago, I found myself wanting to be better. Ever since 2015 when I first fell in love with Bleachers & their song "I Wanna Get Better," that's what I've been working towards. And now, three years later, I think I'm finally making strides towards that dream.
In my post about 2017 I made a comment about wanting 2018 to be fruitful. And I said that haphazardly, not really thinking it would be true, but trusting God's timing for my life. I don't even think I realized how much I needed that statement to happen, to see the fruits of my labor from 2017. But 2018 was fruitful. So fruitful, I don't even know how to properly thank God for what He's given me. He's been blessing me my whole life, especially since I started college, but nothing has ever compared to what He gave me this year.
My resolutions for 2018 were to focus on different parts of my life and work on being consistent in them. I posted more frequently to my YouTube, I wrote (and spent 11 months editing) a poetry collection, I started reading more audiobooks, I got a gym membership, I went to church almost every Sunday I was able to, I started cooking real (sometimes frozen) food, I took 30 days off of social media, I wrote 50,000 words of a novel, and I made a pretty decent sum of money from my freelance businesses. And now that it's December again, and I'm really looking at everything I accomplished this year, I feel more hopeful than I may have ever felt in my life. I can do things. I can finish things. I can live my dreams.
I already know that 2019 is going to be different. It's going to be a year where I'm uncomfortable, where I push myself, where I do things I do not want to do, but I can feel God over my shoulder whispering Finish what you start & He has put these thoughts in my head because He knows I can accomplish all things in Him. I don't know what life is going to look like in 12 months, I don't know who I'll turn out to be, but I see 2019 as the grand finale in a stunning trilogy of my life. It's the last big year before I turn 25, the last year of this decade, the last chance I have to become a new person before the roaring 20s (I'm already sick of people calling it that yikes), and I do not want to waste a second of it. I'm going to do big things next year, and I am ready for it.
So, here's why 2018 was (and will possibly always be) the greatest, most blessed year of my life.
met taylor swift (after 10 years of waiting!!!!!!) ((what if i just stopped right there and didn't listen anything else...did you hear me? I MET TAYLOR SWIFT YALL)), went to my first women's march, passed 18,000 subscribers, read 30 books, finished the first draft of a poetry collection (and 7 other drafts of it), saw walk off the earth + lorde + florence+the machine in concert, saw the pretty woman & moulin rouge musicals, met aaron tveit, attended book expo in new york, watched over 200 films, shot 2 weddings, attended yallfest in charleston, had my photo featured in the new york times, turned 23, finally watched parks & rec + brooklyn 99 + the office + new girl, attended seya bookfest in murfreesboro, shot a music video in florida, took photos of tessa violet, won nanowrimo for the 3rd time, voted in my first primary + midterm elections, went to the bluebird cafe, saw taylor swift four times in concert, heard tim mcgraw live in nashville WITH TIM MCGRAW, marathoned the entire throne of glass series, got to talk with leigh bardugo at an author party where she asked me about my writing...
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