Trapped.

I am terrified because I kind of accidentally scratched my parents' glass table and I don't want to get in trouble but I don't want their table to be scratched but it's already done and now I'm so nervous about what they're gonna say when they find it. Not to mention I accidentally knocked over the electric pencil sharpener in my room so there's a big pile of graphite on my carpet and I don't want to ruin their carpet. Not to mention I'm nervous about my calculus test and economics presentation and my physics quiz and really just everything. I also should clean my room and sort through my crap, but I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I'M A 2ND SEMESTER SENIOR...right? Wrong. I do care because I'm a good kid.

It's just that everything is running through my head all the time and all I ever do is push it away and do other things. I read. I listen to music. I watch TV. I make lists. I do every thing I want to do and nothing I should be doing. Everyone says that senioritis exists, and it does, but I think it's natural. The only unnatural ones are the seniors who still care about their grades and their lives enough to worry through their last nine weeks.

I just wish more than anything that something would change. It doesn't have to be drastic, just maybe me understanding my calculus homework or me making a new friend or me doing something fun, for once. I spend half my life daydreaming. I just feel so...trapped.

I'm not who I want to be.

But who do I want to be?