Internal sobbing.

Spring break is almost over. And I haven't studied even a little bit. Now that I think about it, I think I'd rather lay in bed and cry than go to school on Monday and take all those tests.

The thing is, every one keeps telling me that the last nine weeks will go by so fast and you should just enjoy yourself and not worry about your grades and just have fun! But the truth is, I can't. I may not study for all my tests or check my grades regularly or pay attention in class all the time, but I honestly do care about my grades. I don't want to get straight C's just because I can. I take pride in getting B's and A's on tests and papers and things. I get really sad when I don't get good grades. I hate it when everyone says the last nine weeks don't matter because to me, they do. I am going to do my homework and worry about school because frankly, that's been my job for the past twelve years. I'm not going to stop now just because I'm a senior and I'll be graduating soon. So tell me to stop worrying about school, tell me it'll all be fine. Go ahead, but I'm not going to listen. I'm still going to do my homework and try to get good grades. Because that's what I do. 

On a side note, I get to see the Host in, like, four or five days! And Laura gets home in a few days and I get to face the music of school soon and even though break is almost over, I'm not so sad as I am terrified and excited. April has much more promise than February or March, and with warm weather on the way and summer music blasting through my speakers, I'm more hopeful than ever. (Even though, yes, I am so stressed it's crazy.) Let's see...Sunday is Easter (and GAME OF THRONES) and we're going to Chicago, so that'll be fun...I haven't made a lot of progress on City of Fallen Angels, but I'll do better next week, I'm sure. I've found that it's easier to accomplish things (non school things) in school. Like, I plan to do things like read over breaks, but it never ever happens. Umm...I'm almost done with Laura's graduation present, but I haven't started any of my other friends' gifts. I should be scrapbooking, but since I'm not having a graduation party, there's no point yet. I'm very excited about summer because Laura and I are going to do crazy things (for real this time) and even though I have a lot of reasons to be unhappy, I'm just really glad I've made it this far. I mean, it is pretty amazing that I'm taking Track 1 Calculus, no matter how much I hate it. 

Well, I don't know what this was for. Kind of more for me to just vent to someone. I guess that's what I do with this blog, isn't it?